SO yeah 10 is my lucky number. So needless to say I have been waiting for this day for a LONG time. I can;t gripe that it was an awful day, thought I would like to.
It;s just that for the last oh I don't know 3-5 years I thought I would be getting married on this day. I would have been even happy with engagement. But neither happened. Not even close.
Ben did take me out for a nice breakfast and to a movie, which was nice...it was all just...nice.
Nothing spectacular. Which really it should have been. If I know that someone where looking forward to a special day, I would go to the ends of the earth to make damned sure that it was perfect. But that is me and I have seldom found anyone in this earth that can hold themselves to my standards. Being this crazy nice and creative all the freaking time, no one really wants to exude that much effort.
Also, after yesterday starts the down hill decline until my surgery. I had my first hospital/surgery dream last night. Haven't had one of those in a while.
in 1 week my dad comes down from Virginia. in a week and 2 days I will be admitted to the hospital.
I don;t eve know when I will be coming home.
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